You are all I want

(On top of a rock in Merana Park)

I am not skilled to understand
 What God has willed, what God has planned

I only know at His right hand

Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed

Christ died to save me; this I read

And in my heart I find a need

Of Him to be my savior

**Lyrics from the song, My Savior, My God by Aaron Shurst

This week, this song has stuck out to me. I have no idea what God is planning in my life and instead of leaning on my own understanding, I am leaning on Him and Him only. He is the one that has given us the most amazing love. 

Sacrificial love. 

He gave up His life for all of our sins. ALL. OF. MY. SINS. Sometimes I forget this. That when He went up on that cross he didn't just die for Israel's sins, or the people that had put him up on that cross, but he died for my sins today, tomorrow and every sin that is in the future. So, when our director of Leadership Training, John Drege went up on stage Thursday (May 31st) it was to my surprise what I was going to realize after he talked. His talk was about pride and I realized I am so prideful. I am prideful in myself and in my relationship with Christ. I never realized that I was so prideful, but I am so glad that I know now so I can be more like Christ and let go being prideful. 

Having a full time position and working as a project group leader is really difficult. (On the left is my project group!) It's hard for me to find time for everything that I want to do. However, one by one I am accomplishing things I never thought were possible. I have planned two Project Groups and all I believe have been a success. I visited my family and even though I would have been able to stay longer and be with my sister more it was fun. I have been hiking like CRAZY! Last week we did 3 different peaks, Emerald Mountain, Bible Point and Eagle Cliff. I went with four other people and it was probably one of the hardest things I have done here. Eagle Cliff was so steep, but every person that went was a key role to getting to the top! We even saw an Eagle at the top of Eagle Cliff. Just yesterday we hiked our highest elevation yet, 11,006 feet! We hiked to the top of Estes Cone. It was probably one of the best views yet! I have noticed with hiking that there are times that I need to stop, however for some reason I am so scared of stopping. Like when I stop it's going to make me seem weak. However, I am learning that it is okay to stop now and then to catch your breath. I think this can also relate back to life. It's okay if you need to cry a little bit every now and then. It's HEALTHY and completely understandable! 

 

This is the group that came on the 3 peaks! Ben, Clinton, Josie, me and Dale

I have been reading this book called So Long Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us by Beth Moore. First, if you haven't heard of Beth Moore, watch this: Beth Moore-Hairbrush I definitely look up to her as being a woman of God and someone to admire to be like. I am learning a lot about my own insecurities and how I need to depend on God so that he can clothe me in strength and dignity.

As an LT group, we have been doing a book study called Walking as Jesus Walked. So far it has been really interesting and it has been really motivating to be MORE like Jesus. I think that this is really my goal for the summer. Yes, I want to be more consistent in my reading, memorize verses, and have more listening time but all in all I want to be like Him. 

I have also been trying to work on my evangelizing. About two weeks or so ago, I was eating dinner with my friends and right after we were supposed to go to prayer. I had a funny feeling like God was telling me not to go to prayer but I didn't know or understand why he was saying that. But then this man, who is about the same age as me sits down at our table. We started to talk to him, but one by one the other girls left the table to go to prayer. Pretty soon it was just him and I. We had an awesome discussion about his church upbringing. All of a sudden, I felt Gods presence in me and I told him that it sounded to me that he was insecure of his faith because he had so many questions. He thought that if he would ask some of his questions that people would look down upon him. I told him how much my church community means to me and that if he was in a good community, that he would be able to have his questions answered and people would praise him for his questions. So, I invited him to LT services (which are every Tuesday and Thursday nights). I told him to meet in my lobby before and we can go together, so I waited but he never showed up. I was used to this happening from other people that I have invitied to church and them just not taking the final step to actually go. So, I went on my normal night and went. After the service, I turned around and there he was. He came by himself! I have been talking to him ever since, and so far he has made it to all of the LT services. My next goal is to have him sign up with a project group or even get discipled by one of my close guy friends. But this was just so encouraging to me because it really showed me that God works in us at all times. He is just SO amazing. 

If you're interested in listiening to or hearing an LT service, just go to this link: LT Sevices I encourage you to listen to the one on pride from Thursday, May 31st! 

All in all, I am staying very busy. I am planning to do laundry today and give blood! I am working night shifts this week so I will be working from 4:30 pm to 1 am. They make me extremely tired, but it gives me lots and lots of time to read and learn more about Jesus! 

All I want to do is live for Him and do His will. Whatever that looks like, that's what I want to do.